Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Hannah


Hannah-Marie was born October 18th at 0409 at Sentara Norfolk General. I was suppose to be induced that morning at 6 am. I had stayed up till around eleven o'clock working on some homework, after laying down for what seemed like only a few minutes I was woken up by my water breaking! I was excited that I got to experience it naturally. I almost went back to sleep I was so tired, thinking it's only my water breaking. I got up a few minutes later when a painful contraction hit me. I woke up my husband and jumped in the shower. I thought the water would stop, but it just kept gushing out of me. I got dressed the best I could and we left in a rush. The baby felt extremely low to me, and I started to worry. We arrived at the hospital and had to go through the ER, I kept telling them, I'm having contractions the baby is really low we need to get upstairs. My bp was 172/102 when they checked me in, they finally took me upstairs to labor and delivery and at this point the contractions were getting more intense.

The nurses didn't seem to hurried to see me and get me in a room. I remember being in pain and thinking what is taking them so long! Finally a nurse came into the room I was in and hooked me up to the monitor and started asking questions. They checked me and said I was only a 3 cm which I didn't believe. I was in extreme pain at this point with each contraction. They could not give me an epidural until my labs came back because I was on Heparin. It seemed like an eternity before they got the results and the lady started the epidural. It's was impossible to stay completely still while she tried to start it. She told me she had to work through my contractions, at this point I was throwing up after each contraction and almost passed out twice due to the pain. My bp was through the roof. She finished and they laid me down. Well the epidural took forever to kick in and it only barely numbed my feet, not my waist at all! They checked me again and I was at 7 cm, they went ahead and re-did the epidural to relieve my pain. Finally it started numbing the contractions and I got to lay down.

Arnold went to move the car from the ER parking lot, and the RN started hooking me back up to the monitor. She couldn't find the baby's heartbeat anywhere. She started calling people on the phone to come to my room stat, she called it a "cold baby". Then there was seven or eight people in my room in a matter of minutes. While she is trying to check for the baby, someone checks me and I am complete and crowned! They told me I needed to start pushing now, and of course I couldn't feel anything from the waist down. A RN called my husband who ended up making a U turn and parking the car in the exact same spot, he literally just left the parking lot it was that quick. He ran all the way to my room, as soon as he walked in they told him to hold my right leg and it was time to push. They told me when to push, it only took four contractions and my Hannah was out. She cried immediately and they rushed her off to be checked out. The doctor said she had the cord wrapped around her body a few times. It seemed like forever before I got to hold her. Finally they gave her to me and I got to met her. She was so quiet and just stared into my eyes. She nursed right away.

I was in an after delivery room by 6 am. It happened so fast I couldn't even grasp that I had just had a baby.


Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Big U/s today!

We had our "big" ultrasound this evening, the baby looked nice and healthy! She measured in the 69% percent, and weights .9 ounces! Although I've gained 15 pounds, how does that work?! We got tons of great pictures and it's still a GIRL ! Our Kaycie has named her Hannah.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Couponing

So, I suppose you can say I've jumped on the train. I saw a few episodes of "Extreme Couponing" and a light bulb went off in my head. It just seemed like the right thing to do considering my husband has been unemployed for the last 9 months! In the weeks where I was literally working 70 hours a week, it would have been nice to know a few couponing tricks! A few websites that really help me out are www.ourcouponhome.com, www.thekrazycouponlady.com, www.totallytarget.com. www.groupon.com.

Today's Target trip

1 Large Palmolive
6pk Energizer batteries
1 Nivea Bath Wash
3 Degree Mens Deodorant
4 pk BIC Soleil Razors
1 Aquafresh Kids Tooth Paste
1 Dulcolax

Out of pocket 16.60 Saved 17.55


Monday, May 16, 2011

Expecting


Is definitely expecting again...and it's weird. It's almost as if I don't believe it. Even after three ultrasounds. Sometimes during the day it randomly hits me and I'm like, wow, I'm going to have a baby!

Due October 25th!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Deployments...

...they take away your love one for far too long. They make you learn to live on your own, to not depend on anyone for anything. You must survive alone, face the world alone, raise your children alone. They take away your rock, your best friend, your lover and half your soul. Then when you just believe it will never end and you've lost your love...it throws him back into your arms. You cry with joy and are bloated with happiness. Then life settles in. The arguments start, and tears are shed. Who is this being you handed me back? Why has he changed?

You asked me to survive on my own, and now I have a second half that I must reason with, and make decisions with again? How are we suppose to find the groove we once had?

Dear Deployment, I will never forgive you for making me suffer the loss of my daughter alone. I will never forgive you for taking him from me in my darkest hour. For making me pick up my child's ashes alone. I will never forgive you for making me sleep in an empty bed that should have been filled with my newborns slumber sleep, and husbands gentle arms. And even as you continued to throw hardships at me for a year, I prevailed. We prevailed. So why do we now crumble and clash like a wave amongst a wall of rocks? Is it because we prevailed alone, that now we can no longer come together as one? We stand tall individually, but as awkward as a pair of thieves together.

Better

Things are a lot better...we've been able to discuss our issues. A lot of blaming was going on. We have a lot of issues and we just seemed to blame everything on each other. No one wanted to take responsibility for what was going on in our marriage. It should be "our" responsibility and each take half the blame. Even if he made foul decisions, I should support him and take some responsibility. Once we stopped slinging mud, words were able to be spoken and heard. I still feel like we have so much to work out, but know it will all be worth it. I just hope we can find some peace and enjoy the holidays. I cannot wait to spoil my girls rotten in the next few months. I love to see them smile. Missing you Hope, now and forever! My angle who got away...

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Ending

Has seriously been watching my marriage fall apart over the last few weeks...it's horrifying. He keeps making one horrible decision after another...I'm the only glue holding us up right now. I feel like I'm doing everything by myself and he is dead weight. He keeps trying to pull me under with him, and I keep pushing him away. I resent him more everyday...I expect him to just wake up one day and realize his mistakes and put forth effort. Not sure where things are heading, but I'm making plans for me and my daughter...she is my everything and I have to make sure she is taken care of. Starting to look for another place to stay...