Sunday, August 30, 2009
Tomorrow I get my amino results. I am so tired but cannot sleep. I think me and DH decided that if it is Tri 13/18 we will terminate. But saying it and actually doing it or two different things. I don't think I will be able to go thru with it, but then again I don't think I could go thru with carrying a baby full term to have it born stillborn or die the first week...98 percent of babies with Edwards syndrome don't make it to full term and 95 percent die the first week. It's so difficult. I'm trying to have an answer ready when they call but don't think I will be able too. I have a strong feeling she will have a disorder between the fluid in her spine and her femur bones are measuring 2 weeks behind. Maybe I've just been in denial this whole time and tomorrow when they tell me the truth I will be crushed. I've been strong and confident this whole week but I think the end is getting closer.