Thursday, October 28, 2010

Ending

Has seriously been watching my marriage fall apart over the last few weeks...it's horrifying. He keeps making one horrible decision after another...I'm the only glue holding us up right now. I feel like I'm doing everything by myself and he is dead weight. He keeps trying to pull me under with him, and I keep pushing him away. I resent him more everyday...I expect him to just wake up one day and realize his mistakes and put forth effort. Not sure where things are heading, but I'm making plans for me and my daughter...she is my everything and I have to make sure she is taken care of. Starting to look for another place to stay...

Monday, October 18, 2010

Different

Things have been insane this year. It's like a constant down whirl spiral, I'm left dazed and wondering exactly who I am and where I'm going. As soon as I get a good grasp and new direction, I get knocked down again. I just keep getting back up. I'm not strong, I just simply don't have a choice with all the demands in life. I can't call out sick, I can't skip class, I can't stop being a mom. Thank god for the little moments, the moments of silence that last just long enough to take a deep breathe and remember your purpose. The moments that just give you enough time to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'll get to the end of the tunnel, and he will embrace me...

this album keeps me going...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0c5pXzaXTc