Monday, June 11, 2012

Did you ever wonder where your identity goes when you become a mother? I must have read a million baby books before my first was born. I had plenty of friends, family and even strangers come to me and tell me what to expect. It was pretty obvious that my life was never going to be the same, but no one told me that I would lose myself. No one said that the being you were before is now gone. My whole life I have always been at the end of the line with a last name staring with "W", and now I feel like my self is still there at the end of the line. The mother is at the front, the leader of the pact of roles. She's stern and unforgivable, with every try to reach the front Jamie is pushed back and swore to stay away.  And what keeps Jamie at the back of the line is guilt. Guilt for wanting to just be herself for a day, guilt for wanting alone time, and guilt for wishing bottles and bath time wasn't her Saturday night.

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